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So here's my story:
I want to run. I want to run down the streets of Auburn. I want to run a marathon. I want to run away to Africa and chill with the kids. I want to run and serve. I just want to run.
So Jesus tells us to deny ourselves, to take up our crosses and follow Him. I want to lose my life. I don't want to worry about my life; what I will eat or drink, what I wear. I want to leave this life of everything just handed to me. I want to go to a third world country and serve those families. I feel like I can't live a life of complacency, of mediocrity. I either want to feel safe in my riches or lose it all and have nothing but Jesus and people to serve. I have experienced the burden of money. How cool would it be to have everything we need: Jesus, a few clothes, enough food to give us the energy to serve, a few books, and clean water.
Why go to Africa? Why not just do it here? I want to start over. A life of nothing that provides everything in the end; rather than having everything in the beginning and nothing at the end. I desire to know the heart of Christ. I don't have to go to a third world country to find it, I know. I'd like to though. At least one with clean water.
But do I go? Do I carry my cross? Do I leave my worry behind... even while I'm in Auburn? Do I run? No. In my mind, that's not OK.
The butterfly effect. One small flap of a butterfly's wings in Japan could be the beginning stages of a hurricane which will hit Florida (OK - maybe not geographically correct, but you get the idea). It's a great concept: just one small creature can do so much damage with a minor movement.
Liberation: "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17
If the Spirit of the Lord reigns in us, we are liberated. We are free. If we declare our freedom by one small action, God has set freedom all around us. One small seed that the Lord plants in others through using us could be the beginning stages of a valley filled with dandelions. With one bold step, we could create a hurricane in this nation. A hurricane of freedom and liberation.
That butterfly will never see the outcome of its one flap; he probably won't even realize he can do something so great. That's the beauty of weakness. Don't be discouraged if you don't see the outcome of a nation liberated from their shackles. Be encouraged by the grace our Father offers us. Let Him reign in you with such strength that you create a hurricane within a mile of you... it doesn't have to be across the world.
Liberation. Freedom. Deliverance. Salvation. A challenge. Opportunity. What will you do with it?
Two thoughts have been scattering through my head all day.
(1) Many Christians now have the theory that romance novels are considered porn for women. Just as men develop this unmatchable image for women to live up to when they look at porn, 'they' believe that women read romance novels with the theory that there may actually be a wonderful fairytale somewhere out there for them too. What the heck is that about? Nobody ever has a fairytale ending, right? I completely disagree. Call me naive, but I'm all about some fairytale-age in my life. I read these Christian romance novels located in the genre of 'Chick Lit'. They're amazing! My favorite author is Kristin Billerbeck - I have this circle of friends who have all read her series of romance novels, it's great! Actually, it's porn for me because I've developed in my mind that I may possibly live to be 32 years old - never had sex and (that's right) never had been married. 'They' is right - that's definitely porn for my mind! This girl in the series gets married finally by the third book and her husband is a great guy - their relationship is completely pure and founded on the rock of Christ. Call me crazy, but I believe in that. I know that God has someone prepared for me that will rock my world and it will be good - because God is good and He has nothing less than a great, solid marriage waiting for me... in His time... and you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being single for this season of my life. But I'm not giving up. I believe God has at least one fairytale for everyone: an everlasting, never failing romance with Him. It's their choice to accept it. However, he also has a fairytale for many others (like Paul, I believe God has chosen some to be single... and that's cool too). It's our choice to be patient for that romance as well. No, it won't be as beautiful as the romance with our Father, but it can still be beautiful and God will definitely bless it if we allow Him to.
(2) My dad took me to the CNN center yesterday which was absolutely amazing! We got to see all the work that is put behind the broadcasting and stories. From the repetitive work of switching screens from
headline story to the anchor, to the anchor simply reading the story from the teleprompter, I watched in bewilderment, wondering if I would ever be able to reach my dreams of being in the communications field. (Coming into Auburn, I wanted to be a news anchor... no longer the case.) However, the idea that baffled me the most was the fact that a news anchor has an 8 hour workday. We only see them, at max, 4 hours... if that. So what do they do for the rest of the time? They gather news stories, edit, answer phone calls... any dirty work that needs to be done... they do it. I once believed that an anchor was some ditsy person who just knew how to read and looked good on the screen (I was stereotyping, judgmental... I know), but they truly serve their station. I guess that made me start thinking about leaders in the faith - what do they do? Sometimes all you see is a guy on stage who just wants the spotlight, but how often do you see them working for the true glory of the Lord where the light is dim or even absent - to serve Him by serving others? Maybe you don't see the guy serving at all, which could be a good thing if he does it so selflessly that he doesn't want anyone to see him - but how sad is it that there are some people who sing on stage or speak in front of groups of people but aren't great enough to serve God in the small ways. I started thinking about this because of a college ministry I went to and that's what the guy spoke about - being humble enough to bow down and serve God in the most minor ways possible, by setting up chairs before church or by getting water bottles for the guys in the band... but what he said made me think about how similar we are to news anchors as believers. Yeah, we should disciple, whether in big groups or small groups or whatever, but to be a disciple, you must also serve - not just talk. What are we doing with the other 23 hours of our days that we are not 'evangelizing'? What does our dirty work look like? What kind of stories do we gather to prepare us for the discipleship God has called us to?
