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Sunday, January 18, 2009

These are some journal entries I've been playing with. Sometimes I go days without writing/drawing. Other times I can just play all day in it sporadically and do about 6 entries. No limitations. 

This is one of mine and Chase's favorite songs. Whenever we would drive long distances this past summer, we'd always crank it up and sing it in the car. It's a little hardcore but it has beautiful lyrics. Our favorite part is the "ooooooh oooh oh - can't find any way out." We harmonize. Or attempt to at least. My favorite part is "I wish I could live where the sea meets the land. The ocean and I would be the best of friends." It just fits me. 

I did this one a couple of months ago. I can't explain to you what happened behind it but I can just say from experience: 
(1) Those whom you care about the most are the ones who know how to cut the deepest.
(2) Pain can bring out the best art in people. Though there was a lot of pain within this page, it's one of my favorite drawings. It truly came from the soul. 
If you've been keeping up with the blog, you've read enough to know that I've had a few pretty rough months behind me - emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I just go to the point where I decided that I wouldn't let it get any worse. Compared to the rest of the world's problems, I have an extraordinary life - and I realize that. Without that comparison, I've been blessed and realize that I still have an extraordinary life. However, life is really tough to push through when you're dealing with doubt and broken relationships. They weigh you down like icy 10 ton blocks just hanging out on your shoulders. You get to a point where you think, "Wow. It can only go up from here." Obviously, I didn't scan in the rest of the pages because it talks about everything that only my mom and best friends know... but things are getting better. I just know it. I'm finding myself and realizing my passions. I'm finding my strength in Him. Even when I have the world pushing me to doubt and no understanding. I'm being forced to push the world away and seek faith in Him and in Him alone. It's a beautiful thing in the end, but in the midst of it - it stinks. 

My notes (revised / I didn't doodle during church - no worries) of an incredible message from church (at auburn) in December. 
I tried sushi with the guy who is teaching me how to play the guitar. Mmmm! 
So this one is pretty lame and shallow which is why I saved it for last. Don't judge me. :o) Sometimes, you need to write down the things that happen throughout the day that make you feel good about yourself. Or even the things that hurts you. Whatever it is, let it out on the blank pages. 

Friday, January 16, 2009

So this is the New Year... and I don't feel any different.

Wise words from Death Cab for Cutie (a favorite band of mine). Happy New Year to all of my wonderful readers! Sorry I haven't written sooner! I'm back at school, all settled in - making coffee, taking extremely interesting classes, and even treading water during the intense game of water polo. That's right. I'm taking a water aerobics class this semester and we play either sharks and minnows or water polo on Fridays. Mondays and Wednesdays are extremely exhausting in the class though... it's not ALL fun and games. The main thing is - it is now the year 2009. The year that I didn't even write a resolution for myself, but rather a couple of lifelong goals:

1. Live healthier. (Stop eating pasta every single day. I got a gym membership and I swim every other day in class too. Swimming has become a great challenge for me. I want to be faster and more skilled.) 

2. Find understanding. (This past year, I found myself in conversations with others saying, "I just don't know." No, I haven't stopped saying it. I still don't know or understand a lot of things that are going on in my life right now. That's OK with me. Yet, I desire to understand with steadfast faith rather than just having to know - if that makes sense. If it doesn't, then you're are the same place as me - you just don't understand. Kidding. Maybe my thoughts just don't make sense to some people, but I want to regain the childlike faith - that everything will work out. No sweat. In His timing. That's all the understanding I need. Now I just have to know that... and believe it.)

3. Love people. (I don't mean non-Christians. It is sooo easy for me to love them and not judge them. It's most difficult for me to love my brothers and sisters in Christ. Not because they might screw up but because they call other people 'bad witnesses'. To me, that's a bad witness. But I guess I'm doing the same as them right now too. I just want to love people. Those who love Jesus and those who don't even want to hear about Jesus because they've already been bashed by those who claim to love Him.)

As for the lyrics that entitle my blog tonight, I'm just progressing. I've been working on these goals. Yet right now, I don't feel any different. It's only January 16 though. I have a whole year to feel different. 

So here's a brief overlook at my past couple of weeks....

*Christmas Day. 
It might seem silly, but this is probably my favorite picture taken on Christmas. I love my parents. They're incredible. I can't even begin to describe the love they have for each other. I've never seen two people that have been together as long as they have and still have stars in their eyes. They have a patience for each other that I will never be able to comprehend. They are so giddy when they're together. Sure, they have their times where they must separate themselves from one another before they go crazy... but they love each other. They learn new things together and constantly serve one another. Look how happy they are. 

This was taken at my grandparents' house on the night of one of my cousin's engagement party - Lauren. I met her fiancee on Christmas Day and love him. He has an odd sense of humor, but I like it. They're perfect for each other. And so happy! Lauren asked me to be a bridesmaid so we went shopping the day before. I wish I could put pictures up of how absolutely stunning our dresses are, but I don't want to ruin the surprise for her big day! She will definitely be the center of attention though - her dress is beautiful!! I thoroughly enjoyed shopping, laughing and eating with her and the family!! I got to meet her other first cousin, Nicole, who is also a bridesmaid... we are going to be great friends. I can't believe we've been family this long and haven't met until now! 
This picture cracks me up. Chase now. At 24 years of age. And Chase 6 years ago. Whoa. Major weight change, bro. Haha - we laughed so hard over this picture!!

This day was such a blessing to me! Karis had a birthday party and invited my other two cousins, Faith and Haley, over for a craft session with mom. The girls made Jesus in a manger ornaments... then we had a special surprise. My other little cousin, Jackson, came over to craft with his mom (who I've called NaeNae since I was a kid). I helped with the mangers a little, but I thought it would be neat to make these little bobby pins with the girls. NaeNae made one for her little girl, Reagan. It was so much fun to do this project with the girls! They loved the bright colors and it looks so cute in their hair! These girls are so special to me.

New Year celebration! Ted and I brought the New Year in together. My other friends were either in Alabama, Oregon, Tennessee, or Texas. So it was just us. And Chase kind of. We watched movies, ate pizza and ice cream, and welcomed the New Year with a toast (of sparkling grape juice of course). 

THIS was one of the greatest moments I had since the last blog I've written. Seeing my wonderful friends again - especially this one! Courtney. One of the 4 other roomies. She's my accountability and stronghold. Her and Laura (I'll get a pic with her soon to add) are two of the best relationships I've had since I've been at Auburn. To explain the friends they have been to me would take an entire blogsite.... So for now, just know they are a huge part of my life and I'm so happy to be around them again. I only talked to each one over the break twice (because I very strongly dislike talking on the phone much) so it's good to spend some quality face-to-face time with them again.

As for the art I did at home after Christmas presents were given accordingly....
I am so thankful for goofy friends that I can share moments like this with. Megan, Laura Beth and I had a headband night my freshman year in college... this is what we did when it was storming outside. Anyways, I thought these would be the perfect three pictures to place in the salt shaker. My mom taught me this cute idea. 

And at school....
I went thrift store shopping with Jackie (Chase's girlfriend) and mom during Thanksgiving Break and I found this little gate thing. I should've taken a before/after shot. Before, it was a white-washed gate that said "My Little Bunnies" on top of it. Haha - I changed that up for sure! I love the colors I ended up using. When people paint and craft with me, they get really confused because I don't ever really have a 'plan' set out for a project. I just get a slight idea to begin and go from there. Colors just start mixing and words just start coming out! 

I'm also working on another painting that truly expresses where I am in life. I'll have that one up soon. For now, I'll tell you a little about this one. Proverbs 4:23 is one of my favorite verses! "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." What a beautiful command! The idea of the gate is supposed to be like the gate of my heart. There's a map to it but for now, I must guard it. Otherwise... well, that's what the painting I'm working on will explain. It's tough - especially for an absolute romantic like me. I put my entire heart into every relationship, serving and loving unconditionally. Sometimes I feel like a naive teenager; other times, it just reminds me how much more I must save up for my husband. He is going to be one lucky man. haha - Not because of me, but just because I will wholeheartedly love him and serve him in every way possible. From the little things like leaving sweet notes for him in secret places, but most of all treasuring his heart as he will mine. I am so excited about giving this love that has been building up in my heart for almost 21 years now. It'll probably be a while though - which means I only have more love to store. I can wait for something that great. 
I'm also working on a painting for Kevin (Texas)... but he's going to send me a pair of Vans first / I have to ship it to him before I can put pictures up. All I can say is... it's pretty killer. I took ideas from other paintings I've done but never expected it to turn out this way. It's a lot different than any of the other paintings I've done. Can't wait to show you!

I'll be posting up some journal entries I've done a little later. Can I just say how proud I am of my mom because she no longer fears a blank page in a journal anymore?... Super proud.