One of my incredible friends from home, Mr. Randy, wrote me an e-mail the other day reminding me a very important truth that I prayed every morning in high school. I’m not sure when I stopped praying it every morning, but I hate that I have. My prayer was, “God, don’t let me miss it. I’m not sure what ‘it’ is for the day, but don’t let me miss it.” Maybe that’s why I have been missing it over the past few months. Or maybe I’ve been getting it all along. I don’t feel like I’ve been out of His will through my confusion and frustration; in fact, I believe with all of my heart that I have been in the center of His heart. “He rescued me because He delighted in me.” I know He will rescue me from this frustration and He will give me the strength to overcome it. I believe He will give me answers to my bewilderment because as mysterious as our Savior is, He is also a God of clarity.
When I was 12-years-old, I knew God was calling me to be involved in some type of ministry. Yes, I thought He called me to serve as Panhellenic President too, but I know without a doubt that He called me to serve through ministry. If He didn’t, He wouldn’t have given me to opportunity to serve His kingdom through other positions in Panhellenic where I could freely claim His name and share His salvation weekly for two years. He has called me to ministry. A few weeks ago, I wrote on my shower tiles, “God, don’t let me miss it.” Now, every morning, I cry that out to the Lord.
My mom sent me an e-mail about 4 days ago about the Proverbs 31 Conference (Speaking, Writing and Leadership Conference). I can’t miss it. My heart is burdened for the young girls of this world to speak to them. Coming to college, I’ve seen hearts shattered; college women crying on the ground in the middle of the streets coming out from a bar; and women who just don’t know or understand the eternal Truth the Lord holds. It’s not “too late” for them, but I feel like it’s important to reach these girls at a younger age. Middle School. Because of the burden the Lord has laid so heavily on my heart for the purity of these women, I feel it’s best to start at that young of an age. They need to see that “blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God (Matthew 5:8),” and I feel like God is constantly building me and refining me so that I can spread this Truth among them at conferences and even maybe through writing. I can’t miss the Proverbs 31 Conference. I know it will be a continuance of my Savior refining my heart and instilling these burdens in me even more heavily.
I woke up this morning to a text from a man that I admire more than he will ever know because of his strength and satisfaction in the Lord. It said: “In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Live in light of that Truth, Whit. I know it’s hard to see but He really is leading you.” Barrett Grant has been a huge encouragement to me in every aspect of my life and has challenged me on end without even realizing he has. The Conference is one of the steps to the course I hope to follow throughout my life. God’s desire for me is to spread His Truth among the nations. His nation for me is the heart and purity of young ladies and I’m excited to be following in this small step to the course He has already set out for me.
I know I don’t deserve this scholarship for the Conference, because I deserve nothing. However, I know that I am worthy of it, because the Lord has made me worthy of deserving it – which is a fact that will forever baffle me. It would mean the world to me if I could receive this scholarship. My incredible parents have offered to pay for me to go, but it would be a huge blessing for my family and me if I received the opportunity to attend this conference with little fees. If you feel as though someone needs or deserves it more, please give it to them. This is it. I can't miss it. God won’t let me miss it. If I don’t receive the scholarship, I know He will provide the money elsewhere. Thank you, still, for the opportunity. I know I will be younger than most of the women there, but I am ecstatic to gain wisdom and hear Truth from you all. I can’t wait!
*If you are interested in the Conference and would like to get more information, go to http://www.lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/ or http://www.shespeaksconference.com. You can find out how to apply for the scholarship of Lysa TerKeurst's blog. Hope to see you there!