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Monday, December 28, 2009

Whit, you are so domestic...

So mom and I went to get things started at Macy’s on Saturday morning. I didn’t realize how right people were about the scanning gun! I went crazy with it… especially in the Martha Stewart section. She’s not the wisest of women, or even close to being the most ethical or honest; but she is the master of design and known as the domestic goddess. I’m not really sure but over the past year, my thoughts of being a woman have changed dramatically. Before last year, I went through a two-year phase where all I wanted to do was graduate, be a businesswoman and get married around 28-years-old. I know this isn’t considered the era of “women’s rights” but let’s be honest – women are still fighting for their independence. They are fighting for equality in the workplace and in America all around. I didn’t fight for a membership in the Augusta National Golf Club nor have I stood on the streets with signs claiming my right to vote. I wasn’t exactly striving to be a domestic goddess either. Things have changed over the past year though.

When at Macy’s, I ran into one of my best friends from childhood (Emmy) and her mom. Emmy is going to be one of my bridesmaids [I mean, we made a promise when we were 6-years-old]. I showed her the pot I was getting so I could try it out and she said, “Wow, Whit! You’re so domestic!!” To be honest, I started backtracking. I tried to justify why I was getting this beautiful red pot. I felt like I lost that ambition, that independence that I had claimed during my season of singleness. What happened to me over the past year??

I am a woman. I embarked womanhood. There’s no fighting it. Not that I’ve ever wanted to, but sometimes as a woman, I feel helpless. We aren’t built to be stronger than men physically, and I kind of hated that for a while. So I tried to be stronger than men emotionally. I built a concrete wall around my heart because that’s the only way I felt I could be stronger.

During a conversation between my roommate, one of my best friends at Auburn (a girl that I always thought was more independent than me), and myself, we started talking about marriage. The best friend said, “You know, I could be a nutritionist but in reality, I just want to be a mom.” But isn't that truly how every woman feels? If we break down our walls and dig to even the deepest trenches in our soul, we will find that it is what we are molded to be. The nurturer and domestic people we are will one day break through our core. Our independence won’t necessarily be taken from us, but we will see that all we really want to be is a mother, a wife. We want to care for people, because that drive was instilled in us at birth. Some just choose to deny that.

So world of bloggers, specifically women, how do you feel about being domestic? Are you in that season of life or do you believe that being domestic is just for a housewife or stay-at-home mom? Do you feel that becoming “domestic” shears you of your independence? Or are you proud to be domestic – a strong woman who can sew, cook, clean, and still have a life outside of the walls of her home?


Mary said...

Hey sweetie you are blogging!! This is going to be fun!!

Who is this lady you are asking??? lol

I know your Mama, first through blogging, and then I got to meet her this past year.

I had the opportunity to stay home with all my children. I am thankful. However, I remember going to business functions and being asked, and what do you do!!
Feeling that I did not measure up.
I do not feel that any longer, but it has taken me time. Time to know who I am, first in God and as a woman. I have a feeling you are way ahead of where I was when I began my marriage. You are going to do great!!! You will love it!!! It's hard work, but so worth it!!!

Blessings dear one!!

RR Mama said...

Hi Whit!!
Being domestic is about sharing the responsibility. Hubs does most of the cooking because he likes it. I clean the kitchen after the mess. He bathes the boys while I start the dirty clothes. He helps when I ask him. We always say we are in the thing together. All of it, the raising of the boys, taking care of the house inside and out and taking care of each other. Being domestic doesn't mean being a stay at home wife/mom, it means being an adult and being responsible wife/mother. It means that you and your husband are in this together. Hope this helps! Hope you have a wonderful New Year!!

Hannah said...

Hey Whitney,
This is Hannah. You met me at graduation. I happened across your blog and read it because of the title. My mother is one of the most domestic women I know. We jokingly call her the domestic goddess. For most of my life, she stayed home with us kids and cooked and cleaned. But noone ever saw this as a demeaning role for her. In face if you knew her, you would know that she could hold her own in the business industry because of her strength and diligence. Now that I have moved out of the house and have my own place, I confess that I enjoy being domestic. I love to cook and clean and decorate. I am single and likely to be that way for some time, but I still consider myself domestic. I guess what i am trying to say is that you don't have to be married or a stay at home mom to be domestic. And really does it matter? As long as you are secure in who you are in God.

Diana@DevineDesigns said...

Hi Whit,

Your mom visits my blog and I visited hers and followed it here.

What a great question. Your musings belie your youth.

The modern woman's movement would have us believe there is no difference between men and women. That we can do it all . . . but as you are discovering, God has planted within each gender their purpose.

I don't think we can do it all and do it all well. Someone or some thing gets shortchanged along the way. The kids. The job. The house. The husband. You. God. You name it.

I am still learning, still trying to figure it all out but this much I know for certain - the world is selling women a bunch of lies.

We are not our happiest when shoving the kids off to daycare so someone else can raise them and give them values and punching the 9-5 time clock giving our most important treasure to a job.

The movement has gone too far and become too radical.

Nurture the seed within you that God has planted. Read His Word and seek His wisdom and will to find your bliss, domestic or otherwise. It's a wonderful journey! ;o)

Whitney said...

Thank you all so much for your comments! Blogging is such a beautiful thing - from it, I have gained so much wisdom from each of you in your responses from this post alone. I don't think being "domestic" is a bad thing at all - I truly believe it shows a strength in women which we can do so well if we allow it to grow within us. I hope you all continue to give input on future posts! I have so much to learn before I become a wife and a mother (mother = we're trying to wait about 5 years before that happens though).

To every mother that stays at home with her kids / cleaning / cooking / reading the Word throughout the day, I commend you all! As far as I can tell, there is not a tougher career nor more exciting career than to be a mom.