On another note, mom keeps saying that I’m living out every girl’s dream by working here this summer. Sure, the tan is great; building muscle and losing fat is great; the people are great…. But I know very few girls who would want to be around gators, sharks, and little critters; who would want to get their hands dirty… and the rest of their body; who would want to lift kayaks and be attacked by roaches and no-see-ems every day. Kidding – it’s not that bad.
I do know that I’m living out every girl’s dream because I am loved. That is every girl’s desire – we all just want someone to love us. My family and friends love me and show it every day through phone calls, e-mails, and the amazing letters; but I have found a love deeper than that. Or rather, that love has searched me out and found me. It’s such a beautiful thing to grow so close to a God, a Savior, a Redeemer, a cross. Even when I question His Spirit, His nearness, His existence, He displays to me His beauty and His desire to know me as a lover. No guy has wanted to know me on that level of purity and intimacy – but my Jesus does. I love Song of Songs because even though it is a song from King Solomon to his lover, it is the true melody of Christ’s love that He longs to share with us. He wants us to release our veils. He doesn’t care if we are darkened by sin; He sees beyond that and still calls us beautiful.
“My lover is mine and I am his… I belong to my lover; and his desire is for me. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding like the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” ~Song
I also love this passage from Isaiah - a prophesy of what our Savior came to do for us... once again declaring His desire to be our everything:
"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." ~Isaiah 61
Finally - GREAT NEWS!! The Lord is continuing to heal my mom again. She went to a new doctor that tested her thyroid and found that she suffers from hypothyroidism which causes heavy weight gain, muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches, fatigue, weakness, tiredness, and swelling. The doctor put her on medication and her swelling has already gone down. Hopefully, everything else will be taken care of too and she'll have more energy. Please keep her in your prayers... as well as the doctor - that the Lord will give him the knowledge in taking the best steps so that she can be healthy again. Our Father is faithful in answering us - sometimes it takes years, other times it takes just a week. We're seriously discussing our plans in making The Charm House into a mother/daughter business - a little boutique filled with artwork and coffee! We'll just continue to pray over it and see what happens!